


The Disappearance of the Girl

by taztaas (ainonoai)



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Family, Lup is dead, M/M, Siblings, Survivor Guilt, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 11:13:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12769824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ainonoai/pseuds/taztaas
Summary: It was over. The Hunger defeated, the prime material plane saved, balance restored to the world. Memories were returned, and while it bought some semblance of relief, some clarity, not all of the memories were good ones.Lup was dead and Taako had forgotten her.





	The Disappearance of the Girl

It was over. The Hunger defeated, the prime material plane saved, balance restored to the world. Memories were returned, and while it brought some semblance of relief, some clarity, not all of the memories were good ones.

Lup was dead and Taako had forgotten her.

The realization was destroying him.

They were still at the moonbase, there wasn’t really any other place to be yet. There had been talk of a party but right now everyone had retired to their private spaces to rest and treat their wounds. Taako and Kravitz were in Taako’s room, sitting in the darkness, in the middle of the bed, messy sheets around them. Kravitz was cradling his boyfriend in his arms, hoping that just by holding the elf he could keep him from falling apart completely. Taako had been crying for a while, talking non-stop, grieving. Going through all the memories he had of his sister. Now the tears had stopped falling and Taako was back to just talking, babbling, not even caring if Kravitz listened, probably forgetting he was there at all.

“I used to hate her, you know. For having my face. I wanted to be me, I wanted to be unique. And there she was, every time, always better than me, in everything. I hated it, I hated her, so much.” Taako mumbled, staring into nothingness, glassy-eyed as Kravitz held him from behind in a semblance of a hug. Taako tightened his grip around his legs, nails digging into his flesh.

“Calling me her little brother like those few fucking minutes mattered!” He spat out, poisonous and angry. “Nothing was ever just mine, we always had to share. Everything, all the time!”

Kravitz said nothing, because what could he say, what could anyone ever say to someone going through something like this.

The anger was gone as quick it had appeared, and now Taako was still again, but he kept talking, words flowing out of him like some sort of horrible confession, like he was hoping for absolution he knew he didn’t deserve.

“Sometimes I wished she would disappear. I remember praying, some nights, that I would wake up and have my life all to myself…”

Kravitz took a deep breath, closing his eyes. Oh Goddess, he sounded so empty...

“Taako,” he choked out, trying to keep himself together for Taako’s sake, but it was so hard to listen, so hard to see someone he loved in this state. He wanted to tell Taako that feelings of jealousy were perfectly normal between siblings, that none of this was Taako’s fault, but at the same time, he knew that Taako was well past listening to reason. The elf was hardly lucid, he probably didn't even realize Kravitz was present despite the physical contact. It was probably best to just let him let it all out, as terrible as it was to witness.

Taako buried his face in his knees, grabbing hard at fistfuls of his own hair. “And now she’s gone and all I have is her ridiculous fucking clown staff!” Anger again, and with it, tears.

“And these… these fucking memories! I wish I never remembered, I wish she never existed!” Taako was screaming now, wailing, inconsolable. Tears were flowing freely on his already wet face, making strands of his hair stuck to his cheeks. And there was nothing Kravitz could do except to be there for him. There was nothing that could be done. Taako broke down, and Kravitz just held him as he curled more and more into himself until his sobs turned into quiet sniffles as he started to lose consciousness, exhausted, body going slack.

Kravitz eased Taako down onto the bed and held him to his chest, hoping that sleep would bring his love some relief. Taako’s breathing had quieted, and Kravitz thought the elf had finally fallen asleep when a whisper came, almost too quiet to hear, spoken against his chest, muffled by his clothes.

“I wish I’d disappear too.”

Kravitz’s heart hadn’t beaten in centuries but he could feel it breaking in his chest.


End file.
